The abuse is real.
Narcissistic Personalitly Disorder: One of the few conditions where the patient is left alone and everyone else is treated.
When someone constantly puts you down, leaves you feeling like you can’t do anything right, or makes you feel worthless and bad about yourself in general... I want you to know you did nothing wrong. It is NOT love. Instead, it is emotional abuse.
Let me start by saying that if you already have knowledge about and/or have direct experience with Narcissistic Personally Disorders, my heart truly feels for you. That said, I am shocked at the amount of people who aren’t familiar with the personality. I wasn’t. I had no clue. I will never forget the day I was told to google it just after my very first counseling session. My heart sank. I wanted to throw-up because, sadly, I could relate to every single trait listed to describe what living with this personality disorder is like.
Controlling, egotistical, making others feel guilty for their problems, always blaming others, jealousy, losing their temper easily and being physically, mentally and sexually abusive.
Medical News Today recently published a report that describes the characteristics of a narcissist. To summarize the report... A narcissist will fantasize about beauty, success, and power. They need to feel admired by others at all times. They believe they are entitled to all things. They manipulate and take advantage of others. They lack empathy and the ability to recognize and understand the feelings of others. They envy other people. They appear arrogant.
You may be curious as to why I am sharing this on my blog. To say it simply, I can't begin to tell you all the ways that this disorder has affected my life, as well as the people who surround and love me. As a result, I want to do whatever it takes to shine a light on this disorder, to help others better understand how it impacts our collective lives, and to help those who might be struggling to navigate the challenges presented by this disorder. If you are one of those people... know that YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a real thing and I truly understand the negative impact that this disorder can have. I've lived it.
I would like to also take a moment to also shift gears, even if only slightly, to talk about shame. We all experience shame for different reasons and very rarely want to talk about it. It's uncomfortable. It puts us on edge. In the context of narcissism, it is the people that surround the narcissist that often become the victims, that often need the most healing. And for those of us that have become the victim, it is extremely difficult to admit that abuse has even occurred.
It has taken time, however, I have learned that owning our stories of true heart break, abuse, and hardship is a tremendous challenge when we live in a culture that tells us to deny our grief and ignore our pain. I truly believe once we bring our shame to light, it can't have a hold on us any longer. When we own it, we are able to pick up our broken pieces and start to rebuild a new, better, stronger version of ourselves.
Chances are that there is someone reading this that NEEDS to hear this information. They likely feel a strong sense of shame for even feeling like the victim. Shame is tricky, the less you talk about it the more you have it. My advice is to simply bring it to light. Be vulnerable enough to know your worth and recognize when something isn't right. I pray that if you or someone you know are dealing with this, you will seek the proper help you need to make a change in the right direction.
Seek out the light. Living as Christ did will give us the courage to face any challenge that comes our way. We are His children. When we cry, he cries. When we ache, he aches. Understand that courage builds when you persevere. Have faith, never forget that your light still burns inside of you, it will never disappear. Through Christ YOU can and WILL overcome the suffering. We are all in this together, you are not alone.
You are so worthy of love and belonging, no matter what part of your journey you are on.
Keep shining that light.