It’s okay to rejoice
Exactly one year ago today, my life changed. Ben got down on one knee and asked me to spend forever with him. That moment will forever be engrained in my head. And this day gave me a perfect opportunity to share something that has on my heart in a blog post.
The feeling of posting a picture and talking about my relationship still sometimes gives me anxiety... I’ve lived the “highlight reel” before. I've played that role and have worn that mask well. Sadly, almost too well. I know what it’s like to take a cute picture with my significant other, only to be getting cursed or screamed at in the next breath. But to see the picture on its own without the context of what's happening behind the scenes, you would never know how toxic and unhealthy the relationship really was.
Even the first few times I posted pictures on social media with my now husband, I would anxiously be waiting to feel like a fraud, just waiting for something to go bad. I've started to spot it from a mile away when I see others do it too. Because you can't fool someone who has played the same game that you have. More often than not, my intuition has almost always been confirmed. It’s so sad that many of us feel as though we have to wear a mask so that others won’t be able to see our realities.
However, I do believe more people need to see more examples of healthy, Godly relationships on social media. Yes, healthy Godly couples still struggle. They still have disagreements and work to do. But, the beauty of it all is having a partner who is just as committed as you are to work on things. I tell Ben all the time that our marriage is our ministry to the world. How the way we truly love each other should demonstrate Gods love for us as His children.
I say all this to simply communicate, that just this last week I posted a picture of Ben and I and quickly told him I was sorry for the ‘sappy love’ post. But then I realized, you know what? I am not sorry. I am thankful. I am thankful that I can post things about my relationship that are real!! I can talk about being in a healthy relationship and be GRATEFUL. I can rejoice and thank God for His grace and mercy for bringing me this far in my journey. I can celebrate our God being faithful and not apologize for it.
If you are the person who is living behind social media, comparing your relationship to everyone else’s highlight reels, I challenge you to remember that not everything you see on your feed is real. Start praying for different aspects of your relationship that only God can show you to work on. If your relationship is unhealthy and isn’t adding value to your life, maybe this is your sign to make a change and stop wasting time. God has a blessing with your name on it. Stay obedient, pray hard, remember you are a child of God, and remember God keeps His promises. You are worth the love you desire to have, and if you have been blessed enough to find that person, PRAISE PROUDLY!