In the meantime.
Single ladies, let me talk to you. I believe that one of the worst things we can do for ourselves and our healing process is to jump from one relationship to the next. I waited over three years to allow myself to be vulnerable and try to love again. Now I’m not saying wait that long, I just had a LOT of work to do on myself. I would always hear that dreaded question single women are always asked, "Well, are you seeing anyone?". I learned quickly to reply with a smile on my face, "Yes, I’m falling madly in love with Jesus Christ and I have never felt more free and alive in my life!!"
I am not telling you that this should be your response (although, you may enjoy the reaction of people when they hear you say that). Instead, I am telling you that it is OKAY to be single and to be PROUD of it. Prior to my marriage, the last time I had been single was when I was fourteen. I had two ‘serious’ puppy loves in high school and then met the man I went on to marry before graduating from college.
I had no idea how to be single. And for the longest time I felt so shameful in that title.
God was working on my heart. I realized quickly that having Him was enough. That He was working on me the way no other person could. I also realized that I couldn’t possibly try to love another human being when I could not love myself.
So many people are looking to fill voids after breakups and heartbreaks. They often do that by finding another person and using them as a band-aid. And we all know that when that band-aid is pulled off, it is almost back to square one... sometimes even worse.
People grieve and heal on their own terms. No two journeys will ever be the same. There were so many nights when it would have been easy to take that guy up on a date instead of laying in bed, crying it all out. I would cry out to God to help fill my void and ease my pain. It wouldn't have been fair to another man for me to play with his heart when I had no intention of ever pursuing things beyond a few dates. I take so much pride in saying out loud, proudly that I am working on becoming the best version of myself, every single day. I am not ashamed by how long it took my heart to heal. And I am so thankful for the lessons learned from any pain endured along this journey. So, ladies I challenge you tonight to start to look at being single as a blessing. A beautiful part of your journey on your way to find the man God designed so perfectly for you. You are worthy. You are His.
Be the light!