The dreaded anxiety
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:10
I'm only speaking for myself when I say that I used to feel ashamed to tell others about the severity of my depression and anxiety. We all struggle with what people think about us, so of course I felt that telling people about my inner craziness would make them question my worth as a Christian woman.
Little did I know, that being open and relatable and vulnerable is exactly what people need. Because here’s the truth, I wouldn’t have made it this far in my journey through the darkness without my faith. Putting my faith into action and working to become the best version of myself has helped me to no longer feel paralyzed by fear. (Still a work in progress, y’all!)
I am not going to end this post with answers on "how to overcome anxiety", so please don’t get your hopes up. I am simply writing this to be transparent. Yes, my life these days is beautiful and full of so many blessings, but would you believe the last two nights I have tossed and turned as a result of anxiety?
It's completely normal. I have huge (and ultimately exciting) changes coming up in my life that I am working to deal with. My goal is to view this as an experience to learn while also growing my faith. The question I ask myself is, “Am I being lead right now by fears or led by the Spirit?”
Just because a thought or worry exists doesn’t make it true. And there is no need to lay in bed feeling overwhelmed by fears that aren’t even true.
So, what do I do? First, I put it all in Gods hands. He knows best. Then, I focus on what I'm most grateful and thankful for. Anything. I ask God to take my focus off myself and put it back on him. A prayer that usually does the trick for me is, "Lord, help me to become more aware of any thoughts that does not come from you!"
Here I stand, screaming from the rooftops that I am a Christian woman who needs Gods grace and mercy every second of every day. I am on a journey and I know that I am not alone. My hope is that others will join me, that others who face similar forms of anxiety will know that they are not alone. You are all loved, adored, and created by a perfect creator who doesn’t make mistakes.
Let’s be open and honest and cheer for each other as we open up about our struggles.
‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness’ - 2 Corinthians 9
Lets be the light!